Giraffe’s are made from papier-mâché and fruit juice

Last night, last-minute, I went to a reading at Kepler’s with Dave Eggers. I think he was there to promote two McSweeney’s books, The Future Dictionary of America and Created In Darkness By Troubled Americans, among other things… but the most HILARIOUS reading was from a new series of McSweeney’s children’s reference books, (Kate, have you heard about these?) all written by Dr. and Mr. Doris Haggis-on-Whey. The first is called Giraffe? Giraffe!

“Giraffes? Giraffes!… puts forth the following novel theories: that giraffes were not part of any evolutionary chain, but came here from Neptune, by way of very long (but convenient and fast) escalators; that giraffes are expert dancers, but they become angry if you ask them about their dancing; that giraffes control over 90 percent of what we see in mirrors; that the Giraffe navy is as strong as ever, contrary to recent claims in the popular press.”

The book also includes a Giraffe to English phrase book. There were only 12 copies left in the store. I had no chance. They sold like hot cakes.

Dave also mentioned he was writing a series of 400 word short stories for a magazine in England. He read this one, and here are the rest if you’re interested. Quite an art, those 400 word stories.

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